The evil ME

My mind says that I’m bad

And the evil in me is what makes me sad…

But hearts sits up and revolts

Says the good in me is what always jolts…

It shakes the black side

And brings down all the pride…

But what do I do with my mind

Which says the good has made me blind…

To the bad which in me rests

And shows me only in my bests…

Someone’s shoulder to cry

Can’t be found even if I try…

My eyes cry of emptiness

What use is this selflessness…

There is something I miss

Which can get me the needed bliss…

But expectations always break your heart

When others don’t play their part…

But the point that I want to confess

And put down with all emphasis and stress…

That I hate myself to betray

And let my thoughts astray…

There are millions of questions which I want to ask

But here’s one from the overflowing flask…

If I’m good why doesn’t it show

Like the angles why doesn’t my heart glow…

And if I’m not then why do you lie that way

Like the evil why doesn’t my heart fly away…

The Day!

I wish for myself a day
Which is mine in every way….

When I can happily scream and shout
And don’t have to think of the tasteless sprout….
When I don’t have to hide any fear
And my place in making my life decisions is not in the rear….
When I can eat all the wonderful ice-creams
And fulfill all those deeply hidden dreams….

That day I would love to color my hair blonde
And drive a Harley just like James Bond….
Another fantasy would be the dream car
Also Volkswagen Beatle then won’t be too far….
I’ll fondly wear that sexy dress
And shoo away the guys trying to impress….

Also a dream is to have a friends’ night out
And not to leave a rule that we don’t flout….
I would love to go then for bungee jumping
And go into the woods for under the sky camping….
Lying in the camp I’ll look at the stars
Smelling the lovely fragrance of flowers….

That’ll be the day when in my life I’ll rule
And show them my worth who once called me a fool….
When there is not a rope which can bind
And every moment I can easily rewind….
In the end, I want to hold him in my arms
With whom I can have an elating dance….

It’s so wonderful to wish for myself a day
Which is mine in every possible way….

The Best Independence Day Ever!!

nanha munha rahee hoon, desh ka sipahi hoon.. bolo mere sang .. jai hind JAI HIND….

This independence day was the best ever in my life. In such times when the government is indifferent to the citizen’s right and desire to celebrate their ‘independence’, to have something like ‘National Anthem Ceremony’ at the Martyr’s Memorial and the Open Hand Monument is the biggest thing to happen for the willful citizens. The spirit to get to the destination and see our beautiful ‘tricolor’ flowing freely, was visible in all eyes. Freedom is not subject to sex or age, even this was evident when a small girl came forward to sing ‘nanha munha rahee hoon’.

To start from the very beginning, we all gathered at leisure valley to start our march towards the OHM(Open Hand Monument). We had the permission to enter the Capitol Complex at 11:45am. We took flags, badges, wrist bands and tricolor balloons, and with our heads held high, we started the march. With ‘Harish Band’(of emotional atyachaar) singing the all time favorite patriotic songs and all of us singing along, everyone moved towards the so awaited complex. Police officials and vans accompanied us, all set to arrest us anytime we made a move not so comfortable for them. It felt nice when they maneuvered the traffic for us. We were ahead of time so we halted about 5 minutes from the complex and sang songs and made ‘naare’ for our beloved mother, India.

The journey till now was smooth and quite uneventful. So to add some spice to our march came the police. Not ready to let us go!! Again we all started our ‘naarebaazi’ while Gaurav demanded them to call the high court officials as they gave us the permission to visit the OHM.

After a few phone calls (most probably on Govt.’s bill), they let us go. We reached the ‘Martyr’s Memorial’ first and demanded to be allowed to go inside. But the gate was locked. Nevertheless, we vowed to go inside and one uncle(don’t know his name) started making calls for the effect. Till then, we decided to go to the OHM.

Must say, OHM is a beautiful piece of architecture. Going high into the sky, surrounded by open space. Just under it is the ‘contemplation area’. That was where we were headed. There was a small stage where all the flag bearers stood.

The whole scene was a feast for the cameras of our ‘shutter bugs’ and news channels.

Anurag, fully senti, lay down on the floor, to get the best view. :P

We had the company of a few foreigners as well, eager to know what this was all about.

After few minutes rest, everyone stood up for the ‘National Anthem’.

Singing your Anthem feels good, but it feels awesome when you sing it with more than 150 people standing with you in the OHM. That feeling, my friends, is much beyond words.

After the Anthem, we kept 2 minutes silence for those who died in the recent cloudburst in Leh.

After that we witnessed spray painting talents on Anurag’s shirt and then came the good news!!

Martyr’s Memorial was open!!! Hooting and clapping followed the news.. all thanks to the unnamed uncle :D :D Thank You Uncle!!!

Hungry and thristy, but still full of energy and feasting upon our spirits and ‘josh’, we started for the memorial.

Me, monika, chetan and manyu stopped to have some water. One of the auntie’s had a fracture so a car was allowed to go inside, and we grabbed the opportunity and took lift. Though by the time we reached the memorial, everyone else was coming back (as usual late :P ). Still, we went on to see the incomplete memorial(Oh! Forgot to tell you, the Martyr’s Memorial was started around 50 or 55 years back and still has not been completed. The statues sculptured to be placed there are lying in some dingy store room. What a Shame!! So we went there to express our gratitude and respect for the martyrs’.).

The grandeur of the Mureal by Le Carbusier is captivating!! The bright colors and meaningful portrayal of objects was admirable.

The beautiful birthday girl, Aditi, also joined us and photos were clicked. :D

Then, we came back(now on foot) and shouted for an auto. The autowalah was too far to hear us. Luckily, we got a lift in Sahil’s car J J yeaaa!!! :P

I reached my Access, and that was when Aditi called for me. She was eating icecream with Harpreet, and even I was tempted to have one *slurp*. But on my way to the icecream vendor, I saw ‘bantawalah’ and went upto him. We had bantas and jaljeera. And then we parted, physically, though deep inside our hearts, we all are connected now. We might forget the names, but the sense of freedom once felt together will never let us part away!!

This was the independence day that brought to changingarh, the freedom it deserves and will cherish forever!!

JAI HIND!!!

WE....

we fight and see our feelings scattered over a mile,
and it seems just a matter of wrong choice..
but then we glance and can't help but smile,
and then we hug and just rejoice!!

we cry together, we smile together,
we understand those hidden fears..
we enjoy together the lovely weather,
and wipe away all the tears!!

we shiver at the thought of parting away,
whatever be the differences..
we'll surely find a way,
however high be the thorny fences....!!!!


dedicated to my bestie PROMIKA!!! love u dear... i knw we fight like hell... but the beautiful moments we share will always be cherished deep inside my heart!! muaahhhhh..

and this can actually be for all my frnds (ladte to saare hi hai :P )
waise this is my first ever poem.. zindagi mein kabhi rhyming ni ki!! dats why i sing-- main shayar to nahi.. magar aaee hasin.. jabse dekha maine tujhko.. mujhkoo.. shayari aagaiii... :P :D :D

A Date With Hazel

Well, it all started the day, when we were at Mamaji’s home (sector-7) for celebrating my cousin’s birthday. We were late so I left my ‘Access 125’ there. The next day, Mom woke me up early morning and then we went (after brushing my teeth J ) to Chandigarh. She was getting late so she dropped me near the roundabout of sector-7 and from there I was supposed to go on foot. I was still in my nightdress and felt a bit lazy. So I took out my phone, called Gurleen. Chattering all the way, while I walked through the closed market and through the streets, with my college bag and one clothes bag, and with people staring me down thanks to my nightdress.

Anyways, I reached home and met ‘her’! I stroked her body and scratched her head. There was a bit of fear in my heart. A vague one! For the reason that she pretty famous for getting angry very fast. But it went away when Mamaji gave me the idea of taking her for a walk.

I brought her ‘chain’ and on seeing it, she jumped up and ran for the door. I ran after her, with excitement rising in every part. I had never taken her for a walk. I chained her, again fearfully and opened the door for her. With one end of the chain in my hand and Hazel tugging onto the other end, we set off. She was always ahead of me, after two or three steps on the stairs, she would turn and gaze at me as if saying ‘oh! You’re still there! Come fast!’ and then again move.

Soon we were on the road, with hazel sniffing around to find a suitable place to pee and me looking around and enjoying the nature. The first walk was a small one. We returned home pretty early.

The next day, following the same routine, we again hit the road around 7:30 am. This one was a long walk. We went around the block, giving her an opportunity to investigate deeper into the bushes and sniffing even more alloy wheels. on the way we met many school children, riding on their bicycles. I felt proud of being with hazel. With heads held high, we both marched along the road.

I was so in fond of her that I deliberately left my Access at their house, only to get a chance to meet her again. We again went for a walk. Along the same route as the day before. But this time there was a challenge, ‘stray dogs’. I was nervous when we passed them, but they seemed oblivious of her presence and the day went of fine.

Another similar challenge confronted us when I took her for a walk when she came to my home. The very ‘friendly’ stray dogs attacked us and I had to pick her up. I was so scared that I didn’t put her down until we were in the safety of our home. That day I realized how much I loved her.

When I’m with her I don’t remember anything, unless and until I get a SMS on my cell reminding me of the place where I live called earth.

My experiences with her are the ones which I’ll never forget, ones which I’ll cherish forever.

My love for her is not just stroking her, calling for her and knowing that she’ll find me herself, seeing her excitement when she sees me, to see her jumping at me to lick my hands, to have her sleeping near my feet and being woken up by her, to notice her watching me worriedly when I cough, taking her for a walk and getting rounded up by stray dogs. No its not just that, but its seeing into her eyes and knowing that she loves me as much as I love her or even more..

Added on 25 july:

well, i met her again today. and it was a rather hilarious 'date'. We were in Manimajra Housing Complex where my mamji will be shifting shortly. Outside the adjacent apartment, sat two 'fat cats'. And our brave hazel went after them, one of them was coward and ran at her sight. But the other one had in mind the determination to knock hazel's 'doggie ego'. It didn't budge!! Hazel was shocked to the core and came back snarling. We all knew she was a bit scared, though she didn't show. Everytime any one of us went out, she would follow and peep towards the cat's corner. I myself was pretty scared of the indignant cat, because even i couldn't shoo her away. After many attempts, hazel did shoo the cat away and after that she sniffed all over the floor knowing that she had regained control of her 'territory'. :D :D

love... what else!!

Love, it makes your world go round and round and round. Also described as the sweet poison, this delightful disease will make you sit up at night and dream in the day. It has the potential to confuse you, change you, condense you, evaporate you and in all just drive you crazy!
We, in our dreams, enjoy the expression of love, the first date, joy of the first hug, first fight and the bliss of first kiss. And at other times we regret the reality that it’s just a dream and nothing else. But that doesn’t deter us from dream even more.
I, since teenage, have been pretty emotional, sensitive and more importantly romantic type. I’ve been the matchmaker, quarrel solver and more or less of an agony aunt. Though, my own, so-called ‘love life’ has been a pretty crumbled one, yet I’m quite good in advising others. Be it a friend trying to figure out whether to say yes or no or be it someone struggling to find a way to let out his heart’s feelings, I’ve been the one to consult. Some couples make me regret stringing them together and some have me elated at the success. But seeing them together dawns into me the emptiness of that corner of my heart which had since long been abandoned and unoccupied. Sometimes I try to fit someone in there but they don’t. Sometimes too small and sometimes too big to squeeze in!
I think we’re all in search for the perfect one. One, who fits in with just enough oxygen to last him an eternity (or two if one isn’t enough). And that search leaves us in turmoil. The trap of love and realities of life make us feel dejected and at times we fall so deep into the vicious circle that the only alternative visible becomes death. But the point to be noted is that suicide (or murder) can’t put a full stop to the infidelity of your partner or the failure of the relationship. It’s always better to uncover and work upon the shortcomings to eliminate them forever. And after that comes the most important step of all ‘to move on’. Its good to take your time but don’t be too slow that your way gets jammed up and you’re left to curse others for what you did to yourself.
Because what I believe is that
"Life always has its share of twists and turns, its upto you how to keep it straight."

the start of something new..

the starting of things or tasks is always pretty exciting and can be stressful too. but its always important to know what you want and what is right for you to excel in life. sometimes we get into things not actually of our interest and regret later. but what is to be understood is that you mould yourself so that you can overcome your regret and carry on your life as to fulfil your dreams.

when you are stuck somewhere, think again, are you really in a problem or is it just that your heart is in fear and your brain out of ideas. there's no such problem which can't be fought back with a determined heart and innovative brain. life can be difficult but not impossible to "move on" so here comes the title of my blog.

in your life you'll face many highs and lows but in the end it's you and only you who can make wonders happen in it!

remember don't place your happiness in people or things, but place it in your smile. if you can smile through all your tough times then life will be as beautiful as your sweet smile :)

Every Girl's Dream

“Thanks for the ice-cream abhay. But you didn’t tell me what’s so special about today that you’re giving me this treat”
“Sunakshi, I wanted to tell you something”
“Go on!! I’m all ears!! ”
“I’m in love!!”
“OH!” I stuffed the ice-cream into my mouth but that didn’t help much to hide my disappointment. I always liked abhay but never dared to tell him. And today he’s telling me that he’s in love!
“That’s awesome dude! Who’s the lucky girl haan???” I tease him trying to sound excited and happy for him. Pretty difficult when you know that you can’t but hate the ‘lucky gal’ !! Huh!!
“Well she’s really very beautiful, caring and sweet. And I’ll propose to her really soon”
“Hey. Now don’t increase the excitement. Tell me who she is! We’ve already reached your car. When are you going to tell?”
“Wait a sec here”
“Ok!! Now what are you doing in the car. Flowers?? For whom? Chocolates! Oh! I hope you’re not going to her directly from here”
“No! I’m already with her. All this is for you!”
He bends to his knees. Flowers and chocolates in one hand and my hand in the other. I just can’t believe this. A dream come true!! Wohooooooo…. CONTROL SHONA!!
“Are you serious? I mean.. This is.. Oh! I don’t know what to say”
“Please!! It’s my turn. SUNAKSHI, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY LIFE.. WILL YOU BE A PART OF MY LIFE SO THAT IT WONT FEEL SO NEGLECTED??”
I’m awestruck.. I can’t speak! Oh no! This cant be true.
“Abhay will you please pinch me once”
“I’ve something else to make you believe” and he kisses my hand. But that’s even more dream like isn’t it!
“OH MY!!”
“Well you owe me an answer”
I blush. As usual I turn red and smile to hide the blush.
“I LOVE YOU TOO ABHAY!!”
He stood up and hugged me tight and kissed my cheeks. Then we sat on the roadside with our ice creams and my chocolates obviously. Well I’ve always loved chocolates and he knew it pretty well.
For about 2 hours we sat there and talked about him and me and about ‘US’!!

That was the best moment of my life till he took me to our first date…
The phone rings and his photo blinks on the screen. I smile and pick up the call.
“Hey abhi. Its not been even an hour since we talked last!!”
“Hey shona! Listen to me! What are you doing tomorrow evening?”
“Nothing much. Why? You got any plans?”
“Well… yeah. Kind of!”
“Now now! Don’t start with this mysterious tone please”
“You’ll see for yourself tomorrow”
“I know you won’t tell me even if I beg. So I think I’ll have to wait for tomorrow”
“yeah! You got it right”

He reaches outside the office gate and blindfolds me. We drive for around half an hour and then he stops and escorts me out. We walk together. I feel the loose sand. Must be some ground or sea shore.
SEA SHORE!! BEACH!! Oh!
And then he went behind my back and opened the fold.
The sight in front of me made me skip a beat. We’re surely on a beach and what he had there was just so special. Golden red canopy net supported by candy like pillars. Lovely breeze rustling through the net strips. Few candles and a small cake sat on the carpet under the canopy along with a picnic basket. The beautiful set up looked over to the beach and the lovely sunset. He stood there in his best formals and with a guitar.

“Abhi.. This is so romantic. Oh! I love you so much.”
“I love you too shona. Now come on! Our cake’s waiting for us.”
We cut the cake and ate the sandwiches which he had made himself. Not so tasty but they were nice  and then he sang for me. He’s not a really good singer but I love his voice. I sat hugging him, facing the beach. He stroked my hair and it felt like heaven. Just pure love. I hugged him tight and he hugged me too. He held my face and kissed me.
“What a lovely combination na; you and me and the sunset and beachside”
“You always knew what I dreamt of. Didn’t you?”
“Yes I did. And you are my dream”
“No. I’m your reality!!”
We took a walk along the beach, arm in arm and then sat there, hugging each other and watching the waves till 4 in the morning. We talked about almost everything ranging from the beach to our lives, our dreams, aspirations, career and our life together!

Loving him was all I ever did after that day and even today he knows all my dreams and makes them come true before I can even say…..

This is what every girl dreams of…..

Nonsense or Roadsense!

Wow!! now that’s what you call a smooth road. After a long time of getting slammed and slashed on the dilapidated roads, we’ve come to this brand new, just opened up road. Feels awesome or rather out of this world. I can drive on this road whole day. Uh!… Oh!… Shit.. What the hell was that… POTHOLE!!! no no no.. Am i kidding my own self?? no!!! It’s unbelievable, but true! It’s not been even 24 hours and we already have potholes. All sweet dreams come to an end but isn’t it just too fast!

Now you must be thinking why i’m telling you all this.The point is, it is not just about the poor condition of roads in panchkula. Its the case with most of the roads in India. Just when everyone gets almost used to the dilapidated roads, the administration repairs them but sadly it is short-lived! They use the worst material they can and repair them in such a fashion that you feel as if it is not any better than driving on a village road – with pits on the very first day after inauguration, and carpeted with gravel.

Is that what we call development? What is reason for this rundown condition of the infrastructure? Is it simple negligence, or Is it corruption? Or just lack of interest in the actual welfare of the citizens or the ‘TAX PAYERS’ ? I don’t know what but this lack of honesty and increase in people’s greed is bound to leave us raided of our basic amenities and peace of mind .